


Tears from the heart

by FlowerWishes



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: M/M, POV Robbe IJzermans, this is a sad one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25487899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlowerWishes/pseuds/FlowerWishes
Summary: A look inside of Robbe's mind during Dinsdag 12:12 (the clip where Robbe finally cries)
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Tears from the heart

Robbe sat on his bed, attempting to study, the bags under his eyes becoming more and more pronounced every day that passed as if his pain was compounding itself. He tried to focus on his work but he found his gaze constantly shifting towards his phone that was resting on a pillow beside his laptop. Looking away for a brief moment, he contemplated picking it up and messaging the only person on his mind, the person occupying all of his thoughts. You could almost see the wheels spinning in his head as he fought against the urge but to no avail.

He finally gave in and reached for it scrolling through his contacts before reaching Sander's name. His thumb hovered over it for a few seconds before clicking. His thoughts were running a mile a minute as he stared at the contact page. He knew exactly what he wanted so desperately to do but he was unsure if he had it in him to do so. He didn't know if he had the strength to deal with rejection.

Robbe locked his phone in frustration and tossed it to the side. For a brief moment, he attempted to resume studying but his eyes quickly returned to his phone. Before he could change his mind, he opened his messenger chat with Sander. The last message he sent was still haunting him as he was forced to see it again, " _Because there is no us_." Robbe quickly typed a new message in an attempt to fix the mess he made, to rectify the mistake he regretted so much. " _Scratch that last text. I've been able to think about it and I want you._ "

As soon as he hit send, Robbe jumped off of his bed and headed to the kitchen to try and distract himself. He stared at the contents of the fridge indecisively before making up his mind. He grabbed a jar of chocolate spread, a knife and a plate and moved towards the counter upon which the croissants sat. As he opened the packet the memories flooded into his mind. The memory of Sander's face peeking around the door, a big smile on his lips, how Sander had announced, "Fresh croissants," how relieved Robbe was that Sander hasn't left him and the kisses they shared oblivious to everyone in the room. It was all too much for Robbe to handle. He took the packet and threw it away.

Milan entered the kitchen and spotted Robbe disposing of the croissants, "Why are you doing that?" he exclaimed.

Robbe's response was a meager, "they're stale," even though he knew that that wasnt the reason, it was in an effort to get rid of the happy memory that turned so painful.

With a smile on his face, Milan explained that they could do something with them, "We could make wentelteefjes."

Robbe looked at him, confusion painted across his face. "What?"

"Wentelteefjes, don't you know what that is?" Milan said in a surprised tone.

He was met with a small "No," from Robbe.

"It really is the snack to soothe a broken heart, I swear."

Robbe acted as though he was impressed before taking out his phone to reveal his chat with Sander. He swiped up multiple times, refreshing the chat, before giving up and putting his phone away again.

As Milan grabbed the bread, Robbe proclaimed that it was verloren brood. ( _literal translation is "lost bread"_ ) 

Milan replied softly, "It really isn't that lost, Robbe."

Robbe's thoughts raced through his mind. He couldn't help but acknowledge the not-so-subtle correlation to his relationship with Sander. Was it really lost or could it be saved and turned into something even more beautiful than when it began, just like the croissants? Maybe that was a stretch but Robbe's mind was laser focused on Sander and found ways to connect him to everything.

Robbe was ripped from his thoughts as his phone rang, the caller ID saying that it was his Papa. Robbe reluctantly returned to his room and answered the call.

"Hi, Papa," he said, exhausted.

"Hey, Robbe, I'm calling to see if everything's still on for Friday." 

Robbe confirmed, his voice becoming weaker as he thought about how he was supposed to meet his father for dinner with Sander by his side and how that wasn't going to happen anymore.

"A table for three, right?"

A wave of pain passed over Robbe's body. "Um...no."

Robbe's father replied, disappointed, "What do you mean? You can't come?"

Robbe sadly said that he was coming but on his own, a bigger wave smashing into his chest.

"Oh, and your boyfriend?"

Robbe could feel another ache in his heart as he said, "I don't have a boyfriend," the words cutting deep.

"Are you guys..." but he was cut off before he could finish.

Robbe leaned on his walls for support, the walls that he had built up around his heart for protection. He didn't want to be pushed further on the issue because that meant more pain and more heartache and more sadness.

Robbe resorted to lying, "No, that was just a prank, I wanted to test your reaction"

His father asked, confused, "Okay, did I pass?"

Robbe's voice began to lose its strength as he felt that he could no longer hold back the tears, the cracks in his walls were expanding and he was helpless to stop them from doing so. The walls were beginning to crumble.

Robbe finally admitted the truth, "We broke up," the sound of the words leaving his mouth were like a thousand knives stabbing his heart.

The tears sat right below the surface as his father asked, "Are you okay, son?" 

All Robbe could manage was a simple, "Yes," as his voice began to breakdown.

"Are you sure?"

Another, "Yes," followed by a, "Bye," was all he could muster.

As the bricks of his walls lay scattered on the ground around him, all of the pain and sadness and suffering that he had been holding back for so long, rushed towards him all at once. This wasn't just a wave, this was a tsunami. All Robbe could do was cry. Cry and cry and cry as his suppressed feelings battered him. Tears streaming down his face, Robbe could taste the salt as some creeped their way into his mouth. His mind was empty of thoughts and all that was left was the pain.

As he sat on the edge of his bed, he felt helpless and subservient towards the things that he had pushed away fro so long. He clasped his hands together in some attempt to feel something external to distract from the internal storm that was going on. Running his fingers though his hair as wave after wave of pure sadness and striking pain crashed into him. He put his head in his lap, trying to make himself small, trying to provide himself with some form of comfort.

Milan's voice penetrated the fog asking if he was coming to eat.

A broken Robbe barely managed to get out, "I'm not hungry."

"You can always heat them up later." but Robbe didn't hear his reply.

The memories began to flood his mind like a movie. He watched himself when he was at his happiest, when he was with Sander. He thought about how he may never have that again. He couldn't stop the memories and he couldn't stop the pain so instead, he cried because that was all he had the strength to do.

**Author's Note:**

> I really tried to delve deep into Robbe's thoughts for this one. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
